Many parents from Steubenville should be ashamed of their offspring.

I have been following, with a broken heart, the trial coverage of the Steubenville rape case. I am shocked that these 2 young men are being portrayed as victims. They repeatedly raped and humiliated a young woman. laughed about it online and then the media cries foul when they become registered sex offenders.

WTF I don't think I even want to live in this world anymore.

 This article gives a good summary of what the boys did and the media reaction to their sentencing for anyone who is unfamiliar with the case. 

I would like to think  Steubenville is a cesspool of moral degradation but I have a strange feeling it is much like any other town. What these boys did is sick enough but the fact that their (and the victims) peers took pictures and encouraged this behavior is where my mind truly boggles. The fact that some of their parents are trying to save them nearly makes my brain explode.

I have 2 boys whom I love with all my heart. I am very anti corporal punishment. I think children deserve to be treated with respect.

But if I EVER  EVER  EVER!!!  found out they took pictures of something like this for any reason other than to text them immediately to a police officer you can bet your ass I would not be begging the courts to go easy on them. In fact if my kids had a lick of sense (which by this point they would have obviously proved they did not and that I was a horrid failure as a parent) they would be BEGGING the judge for the maximum sentence just so I could not get my hand on them.

We are responsible to teach our children right from wrong. We are responsible to teach them that the right thing and the easy thing are rarely the same. We have a responsibility to all of society not to unleash self absorbed, heartless, assholes on the Jane (and John) Doe's of this world. If despite our best efforts our kids turn out to be predators or soulless deviants we have a responsibility to hold them out and allow justice to be served. If you are not prepared to do so you should not have children.

 Having children is a huge responsibility. Not just in terms of having to care for them but because how you raise them will affect EVERY living being they come in contact with their entire lives

No guarantees

Events in Colorado today reminds us all there are no guarantees. Enjoy everything while you can.

I am probably more aware of my childrens mortality than most parents having lost a son. Tragedies like today's shooting remind us all that each moment we get with our kids is precious. The problem is too many people will forget today's lesson in a week or 2.

Today I learned about the shootings just as I was heading out to the dollar store. While I was there I saw a parent yelling at her 3 or 4 yr old son for trying to say hi to a cashier at the next register over. While some parents were waiting to hear if their kid was alive and others were trying to continue living while their babies were dead this person was yelling at their kid for being friendly.

I don't know the lady personally. Chances are she is not a bad parent. She, like most of us, just assumes there will be time later to make up for being cranky, short tempered or just not having time.

We can't make it up though. Each moment lost can never be recovered. No angry words can ever be taken back.

we only get one chance, one childhood. Make sure if the worst happens you have good memories to hold. No one ever sits at their childs funeral saying "I wish I had kept up on the dishes better" or "I am so glad I never let them ruin their new jeans by puddle jumping"

Seize the moment and squeeze out every smile you can.

This shit is not ok

Today I saw a PSA about domestic violence. I didn't need it, I lived the reality as a child. I know the fear and helplessness that comes with it. That is something my kids will never experience. My boys are very unlikely to be the victims of domestic violence. But they need to know about it. They need to see. They need to understand. Because if they don't, and I turn them loose on the female population, I am part of the problem. 

 

Here is the video that sparked this post.  This is the reality that many women live with. I have watched women cover the busies and stop smiling so no one would see their broken teeth. Sometimes the men who did this to them come from violent homes. Others have mothers who would be shocked. 

As parents we want to assume the best of our kids. We want to believe there is no need to tell them not to do things that are obviously bad. after all we have taught them through example right? 

Many of us have. Many of us also skip past what could be a great learning experience and teaching moment. When our kids read or watch Twilight do we take the time to explain why Edwards behaviors should have sent up red flags for Bella.

When Chris Brown and Rhianna make headlines do we stop and use that opportunity to discuss with our daughters why they should NEVER accept being treated that way. To explain to our sons exactly what is wrong with Chris Brown and how she didn't deserve what happened.

The thing is everything around us is a teaching opportunity. Yeah Eminem sometimes talks about beating women like in the song Kim 

And yes it is wrong but I was actually GLAD peoepl were bitching about the song because it meant they were talking about abuse. Knowing teen sons listened to Eminem made many parents actually TALK about the contents of the song and share their feelings with their kids.

We need to talk to our sons and have ongoing conversations about abuse. It is too late when they are men.