Who do you think you're talking to anyways?

My toddler has discovered biting. It is his favorite response to my saying "no", "just a minute" or "hold on". Prior to this his method of attempting to establish dominance over me was to scream like a banshee and hope I would submit to his will. That plan didn't work so well either.

Screaming in your face, slapping, hair pulling, and biting are all  normal toddler reactions to being deprived of something they want. The fact that your toddler decided to bite you because you took his big brothers magnetix away from him does not make you a bad parent. Giving in because of it does.

There are many different ways to deal with tantrums. Some parents give a time out, others spank (which I don't get at all, as far as I can see that just teaches them to let people hit them or to only hit someone smaller than them), others still ignore the behavior in hopes that lack of attention will cause it to burn out. While other methods seem to work from what the parents tell me they seem to ignore what, to me, is a golden learning opportunity.

With both of my children, and all the others I have cared for over the years, I have learned that every indiscretion is a potential teaching moment.So the question becomes "what do I want my child to learn from this?". The obvious answer is "not to repeat the behavior". For myself I want to stop the behavior but I also what to teach them why it is wrong to behave that way while teaching them the proper way to be assertive and stand up for what they want.

When I tell my child no and it results in them trying to bully me I react the same way I want them to react to all the douchewads they will encounter tin life. I calmly (on the outside on the inside I am thinking about throttling them) disentangle myself from them, hold them at arms length, and tell them "I don't play with people who are mean to me, come see me when you are ready to be nice".

Many times over the years I have been told, "But that just lets them get away with it.". I guess it does to an extent but it also stops the behavior and puts the ownership for their actions back on them. They are now responsible to make amends. More importantly though I am modeling how to demand respect from others without being a bully yourself.

At the toddler stage nothing is worse than being estranged from Mom or Dad, as they age the concept still works even if it needs modification. When my nine year old is rude or disrespectful he gets sent to his room. He is told hat I deserve to be treated with respect and if he can't behave like a civilized human being I won't associate with him. He can come out whenever he can treat me decently.

Of course this only works if you also treat your kids with the respect you demand from them