Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Call me slacker mom

I have never claimed to be super mom. My kids don't eat an organic diet, they watch TV and play video games, they have dirty faces and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

It never occurred to me that I would be judged on my toddlers table manners. That having spaghetti in your eyebrows at two was socially unacceptable.

The mommy wars have went too far and they are sucking the fun out of childhood. Kids should be allowed to be loud and messy in appropriate places. A kid covered in dirt at a park is not a big deal. A kid squealing with happiness going down a water slide is perfectly acceptable.

I am tired of seeing mothers try and stop their kids from being kids because someone else may judge them.

Judge away I say. Let your inner asshattery show.

Tell me to my face I am a bad mother for having a mud covered toddler and dog, go on, I dare ya.

Being a kid is about pretending you are a dog without people judging you 

it is about eating cake like cookie monster and admitting forks are the enemy

It is about feeling the pumpkin guts squish between your fingers.
Why do you care if you got every last speck of dirt off their hand before running to the corner store? Before a wedding yes, before getting butter ... not so much. Why do you care if they make barking noises at pedestrians you pass. Sure it is inappropriate for a fancy restaurant but just out for a walk? What are you afraid of? That someone is going to give you a dirty look? silently judge you? Talk about you later?

Screw em. You only get one chance at a childhood, make sure it rocks for your kids. If something happened and you lost your kid tomorrow you wouldn't say things like
"I wish his face had been cleaner"
"I wish my dishes had always been done"
no it woudl be "I wish I played with them more" or "I wish I hadn't told them no quite so much"

I may loose the mommy wars and I am ok with that as long as I give my kids an awesome childhood. 


  1. Only one thing matters to me as a parent, and its not what other parents think. Its that my children know what genuine happiness is and its that they believe the only thing in life that matters is genuine happiness. Screw that mom wars and just do what works for you. No one can make your kids happy except you so why let others influence your decisions.

  2. I want my kids happy and I also want to in the end produce a well adjusted adult. I will let you know in 15 years how that part went ;)

  3. Absolutely!

    My wife and I are very clear on our parenting rules: if our daughter is doing something that's going to harm herself or others, we say "no" in a calm, firm voice (never raised). But if she plays in a mud puddle, so be it. If she later learns that she doesn't want mud on her clothes, so be it. Her job is to learn and our job is to teach her to respect herself and others. We have no desire to curb her happiness just because others might judge us.

    That's part of the reason I'm happy we're raising her in Europe rather than the US. Back in the US, playgrounds were becoming sterile, "safe" things. Over here, many playgrounds have a soft padding underneath, but the playground equipment is just as dangerous as when I grew up in Texas in the 70s. It's awesome. I wish I was a kid again (I'd still try the equipment, but sadly, it's too small for me).

  4. I love this!!!!!!!!!

  5. Kids are supposed to be dirty and silly.