Stranger Danger ... are you kidding me?

Despite knowing better the image of a strange man offering our kids candy in an effort to lure them away is still the dominant image in our minds when we think of childhood abuse and abductions.

Lets be honest here, despite what the media wants us to think random abductions are really not worth spending a significant amount of time worrying about. Strangers are not people our children need to have an inherent fear of but friends waiting to happen.

Yes our children need to be taught how to interact safely with others but many parents, in attempting to do so, actually endanger their kids.

Never go in a car with a stranger. 

Seems like sound advice to me but what does a kid hear? When coach Bob asks them to go for a ride they run through their list of memorized rules and decide it is ok since he is not a stranger.

To me a more sensible rule is Never go anywhere with anyone unless you ask me first.

Never take candy from strangers. 

Yeah we force them to break this one all the time. Halloween, Christmas, the first time they meet great aunt Bessie

Don't talk to strangers 

wait a few hours and the same parent is demanding they say hello to a long lost friend or a co worker who is a stranger to the child.

This is part of the reason why stranger danger doesn't work. The other part is that it also enforces the mindset that the people we know are good people. Reality tells us that our kids are more likely to be harmed by someone they know.

Instead we need to teach our children that it is important never to go anywhere with anyone unless they have our permission.

To never let anyone cross their personal boundaries

And to run to a stranger for help if no one else is available. Odds are they are not a pedophile. In fact odds are most people we meet in life are not pedophiles. 

When my eldest went to Universal Studios he was instructed to look for a woman with kids and ask her for help should he get separated from his Gram. Statistically that is the safest person for them to turn to.

Media fear mongering has parents imagining a shadowy boogeyman in every corner but truth is MOST people don't want to hurt your kid

Instead of constantly telling our children what they need to fear and avoid we need to teach them how to be proactive